As you look forward to move higher for the month, one thing I want you to do is to forgive.
People say “it’s more easy to forgive than to forget”, some say “I forgive, but I don’t forget” while others say: “I don’t forgive, neither do I forget” and the rest are just experts in forgiving and forgetting. I understand that we’re all humans and sometimes, some events, incidents and encounters with certain individuals makes us agitated or just refuses to leave our minds.
As you read on, you will learn the principles and guidelines on how you can forgive and forget effectively.
Principles of Forgiving
The definition of forgive simply is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. To forgive someone, you need courage emotionally and spiritually. It doesn’t matter how bad someone might have offended you; I can tell you that the moment you make up your mind to forgive someone is the moment you set yourself free.
When you forgive, you are not doing the other party any favor; you are doing yourself a favor. Holding a grudge against someone is like eating poison and expecting someone else to die. Now that is ignorant isn’t it? And most of us are putting ourselves in that trap unknowingly.
Your heart must be transformed in a way that you begin to make excuses for people even when they step on your toes. Now this is easier said than done, especially if you’ve gotten your heart seriously broken by maybe a friend or family member you trusted, or a former spouse; we are all humans and we tend to get angry at people when they step on our toes especially in that kind of manner.
To forgive effectively, you have to follow these 3 steps:
1. Acknowledge and replay the incident that took place,and the person who wronged you – think about the incident that broke your heart.
2. Acknowledge the fact that they are human beings and no human being is perfect.
3. Call yourself apart, maybe you want to lock yourself in a room to get this process done, Begin to think and say loving words towards that person, you don’t necessarily have to pick up the phone and tell the person that you forgive them; it is not about them, it’s about you. Say stuff like this loud and clear “I’ve forgiven you (mention their name(s)), I refuse to hold on to this pain, I hereby set myself free”. Then begin to look at yourself stepping into a whole new dimension of freedom, gain and happiness.
Principles of Forgetting
The definition of forget is “to fail to remember.” When it comes to forgetting after forgiving, this is where most of us are facing issues, we don’t know how to forget that incident that triggers our agitating and sad emotions.
The principle of forgetting after you forgive doesn’t necessarily mean the incident has to be wiped away from your memory. Come on, we’re all humans and some events just will never leave our minds no matter how hard we try to get it out; it just won’t happen. Of course you have to remember one way or the other, so that you don’t put yourself in the same position whereby you will be hurt again. You have to be wise.
So how do you forget then? Or how do you know you let go from a wrong doer’s incident? The answer to this questions is another question I want you to think about: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the wrong doer or when you see them? Does your blood start running hot and you lose it? Or your heart gets warm and you give them a beautiful smile? Think about it, If you get angry at the person when you see them, then you did not even forgive that person in the first place to begin with. But If you smile at them, you don’t even have to say hi, “you are killing them with kindness” and that will say a lot of positive things about you. If you can do that, you are now getting a tangible hold of the principle of forgetting.
In conclusion, there is something called loving someone from a distance, the person doesn’t have to be your close friend any more, but smiling at them and being able to even like their activities on social media is an exercise that will strengthen your heart for love. Even if you are still close to that person, just be wise and avoid putting yourself into such position of getting hurt again. True happiness comes from within, be careful what you are putting in.
I have been hurt and I have hurt a lot of people too but what keep us going is forgiveness. Try it and drop that burden of yours.
Do have a great midweek
BM
Forgiveness is key to our happiness in life, holding grudges will affect us more than the person that offended us, it will affect us emotionally, physically and in many other aspect while tye other person that offends you might be doing fine
While forgiving others we are doing ourselves more good thank harm
And again, as God also forgives it is required of us to always forgive, i mean always
Offence is inevitable, have it in mind that people will offend you because we are not angels and know that other person is unlike you, don’t expect too much from people to avoid disappointment and always forgive ahead
Nothing worth taking away your happiness and that is what keeping grudges will do if we allow it in our heart and it breed hatred instead of love that we are to show
Even though we can’t forget what people do to us as much as we have memory but how we react to people that offend us when we see them or hear about them will determine if we truly forgive them and if we let love lead again it will cover whatever it is they’ve done to us
Let love lead, love heals
Forgiving might actually be easy but forgetting might take a while, each time someone offends you or do wrong to you it’s like a wound, might heal easily but leaves a scar which takes time clear off and some might be there for a lifetime
The major lesson from the article includes:
1. Forgiveness is a personal decision that brings emotional and spiritual freedom. Holding grudges only harms oneself.
2. To forgive effectively, one must acknowledge and replay the incident, recognize that everyone is imperfect, and consciously choose to let go of the pain.
3. Forgetting does not necessarily mean wiping the incident from memory. Some events may always remain in our minds, but we can choose how we react to them.
4. Forgetting is about changing our emotional response towards the wrongdoer. Instead of anger, we should aim to respond with kindness and positivity.
5. It is possible to love someone from a distance and avoid putting ourselves in positions where we will be hurt again.
6. True happiness comes from within, so it is important to be mindful of what we allow to affect us. Forgiveness can help release burdens and contribute to personal growth.
Thank you so much.
Awesome Nuggets!
I understood that forgetting doesn’t mean erasing the memory but rather changing your emotional response.
The key is to assessing my feelings towards the wrongdoer is to smile at them and avoid anger, it signifies forgiveness and a positive change within myself.
The content encourages “loving from a distance” and being cautious not to put yourself in a position to get hurt again.
I understood that Forgiveness is a way to release burdens and find true happiness from within.
Thank you for this sir.
I don’t really think I can explain but– thank you sir.
This is just it. Nicely knitted and factual.
Thank you so much sir…Always learn how to forgive and forget
Forgiveness is strength
Wow!!!
This is really needed at this point of my life
Thank you sir
Now I know I can actually love from afar
And forgiveness is for my Good.
Good one, so put that into action
Wow!!!
This is really needed at this point of my life
Thank you sir
Now I know I can actually love from afar
And forgiveness is for my Good.
Wow!!!
This is really needed at this point of my life
Thank you sir
Now I know I can actually love from afar
And forgiveness is for my Good.
I will forgive and Forget.
Wow
I can still forgive and love from afar
Forgiveness is necessary for a healthy living
Thank you Mr Babs
I will forgive and forget
Thank you for the principles sir
You are most welcome
Thank you Mentor sir. Forgiving and forgetting for sure is easier said than done but following these principles closely would help a bunch. Loved the article !!
Certainly not easy, but application of the principle can be helpful to achieve that
Wow
I can still forgive and love from afar
Forgiveness is necessary for a healthy living
Thank you Mr Babs